A Marriage in Trouble
After less than a year of marriage, one couple may be on the verge of divorce if the husband doesn’t clean up his act—literally. Frustrated and defeated, the 28-year-old wife turned to Reddit’s popular confession forum, Am I The A**hole, to ask whether she was wrong for wanting to end her marriage. She started by explaining that she and her husband had been together for a little over four years.
From Impeccable to Sloppy
Until they said “I do,” her husband was impeccably clean. Initially, the Redditor saw no issues with her partner or living with him. Unfortunately, his habits deteriorated quickly once their relationship status changed.
“After we got married, my husband stopped cleaning,” she admitted. “He wouldn’t pick up after himself, wouldn’t do his agreed-upon chores, and suddenly became a slob. It was like he’s been intentionally dirtying things up.”
A Silent Protest
A month into their marriage, the Reddit user stopped doing housework. She didn’t want her husband to assume she was responsible for all the cleaning, so she quit. But now, their relationship is far from what it used to be or should be—a partnership.
“I’m rarely home due to the mess. I part-time live with my sister at this point, and he doesn’t even care,” she admitted. “I come home only to sleep at night, and sometimes I don’t even come home at all.”
A Marriage in Crisis
At this point, the original poster has had multiple mental breakdowns, stressing over her relationship and mourning the loss of the man she thought she had married. If her husband isn’t going to return to his old self, she no longer wants to be married to him.
She confessed, “I wanted to get married, but this is not the man I married. I would much rather be home where I belong, but I’m not a maid.”
The Messy Reality
For readers wondering about her husband’s level of uncleanliness, the Redditor provided a detailed list. She said he leaves wet food in the sink, “puddles of mystery substances,” and garbage everywhere. The original poster compared him to a toddler.
“It’s exactly like mommy isn’t cleaning up, so he’s tornadoing through our house and not caring,” she remarked.
The Ultimatum
At her wit’s end, the Redditor gave her husband an ultimatum: start cleaning up after himself, or she’d divorce him immediately. He didn’t take it well. Instead, he called her an “a**hole.”
She admitted, “He told me that cleaning is no longer his job.”
“I nearly popped a blood vessel. We did not decide on that. He’s telling me that I’m throwing everything away over pride and that all new marriages go through this transition,” she wrote. “He told his mom, and she called me not too long ago and told me that I needed to calm down and reconcile. I really love my MIL, and she’s one of the most level-headed people I know, hence the reason I’m writing this post.”
Questioning Her Reaction
The Redditor’s respect for her mother-in-law made her question her reaction to her husband’s response. She thought her consideration of divorce might be too harsh. However, after having time to reflect, she doesn’t think she’s overreacting at all.
“He fooled me for four years, and marriage is not trapping me,” the original poster proclaimed.
Support from Reddit
Many Reddit readers agreed with her. Thousands of passionate commenters argued that the Redditor’s desire for a divorce was valid.
One supporter said, “Your husband’s behavior is completely unacceptable. It’s one thing to have different cleaning standards, but it’s another entirely to actively refuse to contribute to a shared living space. The level of filth you’re describing is not just messy; it’s unsanitary and disrespectful.”
“It makes me think he’s freaking out about being married and driving you to leave so he doesn’t look like the bad guy,” a second person guessed.
A blunt reader suggested, “Walk away now. Think of how awful it will be if you decide to have children. Find someone who will respect you.”
“Stop wasting your time. You don’t have to prove anything to your MIL; her opinion doesn’t matter. Her son can go be a lazy bum at her house,” a harsh individual remarked.
References:
Independent – https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/reddit-divorce-wife-husband-clean-b2589105.html
