Trust is essential in any relationship, and when that trust gets broken, it can lead to anxiety and resentment. Reddit user ThrowRAsada31 recently took to the popular subreddit r/relationship_advice to share a story that had the internet up in arms. When she hired a private detective to look into her husband, she had no idea what would come of it. We have the full story right here.
The Story
ThrowRAsada31 began her post by saying, “I (27F) have been with my husband (27M) for four years and married for a little over two, and we have a 16-month-old son.”
“Two years ago, very soon after our honeymoon, we found out two things – the first being that I was pregnant and the second being that my best friend broke up with her fiance during our honeymoon since he cheated on her. She went spiraling and was convinced that my husband was also cheating on me.”
ThrowRAsada31 went on to explain that she had never suspected her husband of cheating and told her friend that she was projecting her relationship onto their marriage. According to ThrowRAsada31, she threatened to cut her friend off if she didn’t stop accusing her husband of cheating.
She said, “She never stopped, and being in the initial stage of my first pregnancy, I was having a tough time thinking straight, and I ended up hiring a private investigator to look into my husband for a month, including an out-of-state business trip.”
According to the woman, the Private detective had no evidence that her husband was cheating and assured her that everything was fine. “I immediately cut off my best friend, and ever since, I have regretted hiring the PI. I never told my husband since he literally did nothing wrong and gave me no reason to suspect him and he doesn’t deserve to feel that he did something wrong.”
“I’ve been the most loving, affectionate, and caring wife I could be and everything in our relationship has been great,” she said. She detailed that she had fallen even deeper in love with her husband since they’d had their child. She even mentioned that he cared for her and showered her with love during and after the pregnancy.
A Contact He Didn’t Recognize
ThrowRAsada31 said she and her husband got new phones shortly after the PI’s investigation, but her husband kept their old phone. “Yesterday, we were talking about some old memories and pictures on our old phones. When he charged up my old phone and went to send the pictures to our current phones, he saw a contact he didn’t recognize and it was the PI.”
“He read the entire conversation and confronted me with it. I admitted and gave him full details of everything. I told him that my ex-best friend was in my ear, and combined with the pregnancy, I couldn’t think straight and doubted him and hired a PI to clear my concerns. I profusely apologized to him and promised that he did nothing wrong and it was a result of my own insecurities. He didn’t raise his voice or get angry.”
“He just said okay, kissed our son, and walked out the door. He came home four hours later, and when I asked where he went, he just said, “Don’t worry, I wasn’t [with] someone else”. I know I hurt him by not talking to him about my insecurities two years ago and hiring a PI instead, and then hiding all of this from him. I honestly can’t relate to how he feels but I can understand how terrible it must feel to not feel trusted by the person you go to bed with every night. I tried apologizing to him and talking to him last night and this morning but he has been ignoring me. He didn’t hug or kiss me before we slept last night or before he went to work this morning.”
In need of some advice, ThrowRAsada31 asked, “What can I do to fix this?” Luckily, thousands of people rushed to the comments to give their advice.
The Comments
Z-eldapin commented, “Remember, this is two years ago for you. It is RIGHT NOW for him. Give him some space to breathe, think and process.”
Bucketsdntlie said, “I genuinely have no idea how I’d react if my SO had a PI stalk me for a whole month. Like how would I ever be able to look her in the eye again, knowing she was getting “status reports” from some stranger watching me eat Denny’s through his binoculars. Give him his space, be an open book, and do not bring up your crazy friend with literally zero evidence as your main excuse. His first response will be “Why did you believe her/what evidence did she have,” and you’re going to look even worse.”
A third person, Wardial3r, said, “At this point you can’t really do anything. He will either forgive you or not. Kinda up to him now. You’ve made your choices and now have to come to terms with the consequences.”
If you would like to read more, check out our references below!
References:
The Mirror: https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/i-hired-private-detective-investigate-33272592
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1e51n0x/i_27f_made_the_worst_mistake_of_my_life_when_i/
